| Our baby was born 12 days before we expected him, though I would have been content to be pregnant for another month. I just needed more mental preparation for the the big ordeal. With a homebirth, there is no backing out. No escapism possible - I knew this, and wanted to be good and prepared for labor. |  |
My husband, Sam, was very excited about the possibility of meeting our baby. I was not ready - this all happened at 37 weeks, and I was thinking 42 weeks would be a nice time to give birth. There was cramping, but nothing resembling labor.
At our appointment, Sharon told us what the standard treatment for PROM is in the hospital. We were horrified! They treat the child as if it automatically has an infection if there is the slightest sign - elevated maternal temp, anything. And the septic work-up sounded like sheer hell - long separation from Mother, lost of tests, including a SPINAL TAP. This was the last thing we wanted to risk, and we were so grateful to have a midwife to advise us on how not to get an infection, and who would wait for labor to start on its own.
The plan was for me to stay home from work, use only our bathroom, use a peri-bottle, no baths, take vitamin. C, amoxicillan, and Echinacea three times a day. The leaking slowed on its own, and I settled in to a week of contemplating going into labor. If it was eminent, I wanted to be ready. On Wednesday, I invited the baby to drop - just in case we should go into labor, that would be a good place for it to be. Fort-five minutes later, I got up, and HE HAD DROPPED. I was amazed at our connection, at my ability to control my body…….
One week after the
first dribble of fluid, we had a real gusher - had to jump up and go from
the in-laws house before they knew what was happening (we wanted our privacy,
and didn't want phone calls all day). We spent the rest of the day
gardening, eating, cleaning the house, and hanging out with friends.
My best friend came over to wash dishes, and our photographer friend came
over to shoot some "labor pics" It was wonderful to have friends
over, but my shy uterus didn't get to work until after they all left and
night fell.
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We let our midwife know she would probably be needed that night, and I started to pace around the house while Sam cooked Lasagna for the after-birth meal. It smelled atrocious then, but was delicious the next day. When Sharon heard that the food smelled bad to me, she said I must really be in labor. While she was there, contractions slowed - shy uterus again, so I said she should probably go home. An hour later, I asked for a doula, a woman I had only met a couple times. She wouldn't have any expectations of how I would act, and I felt less self-conscious with a near stranger. She was great at mothering me, giving me attention, and making suggestions at the right times. |
It was every 2-3 minutes all night long. I had this lovely fantasy that after it was all finished, I could just go to sleep, and nothing would hurt anymore - it didn't matter later that this was wrong, it helped get me through the night. Next time there will be no fantasies of escape, and I dread the afterpains that are reputably worse with second babies. Time took on a whole new dimension as a lay in a candle-lit room and focused on relaxing between contractions. Blues music played on the CD player, and was a nice diversion. For a few contractions, I wondered what demerol might feel like - not a serious drug lust, but what would it do? Some time during the night, I also had a blue contraction followed by a yellow one - must have been in some kind of labor trance. Unfortunately, once I told my doula about the colors, they didn't happen anymore.
Right around sunrise, the wind picked up, and Sam had to go out and get clothes off the line that we had hung the day before. I also started telling them not to leave me alone - clue number one that this might be transition. But I was so busy trying to relax in between the closely spaced contractions, I wasn't doing much communicating at all. They probably missed that it was transition because I handled it pretty smoothly. Especially once we got in the tub and sprayed HOT water on the base of my spine. This provides excellent pain relief - as good as drugs, according to some people. Things died down after awhile - I was probably fully dilated by then, and there was a lot of rectal pressure. But, my doula was only allowed to do FHT’s and Blood pressure, not internal exams, so, when I felt like pushing, she had me pant to avoid pushing - for fear of tearing my cervix if it wasn't completely dilated
Now, why hasn't anybody
asked for Sharon to come back yet? My doula was expecting to see
bloody show, and I was expecting Sharon to come back sometime - out of
curiosity if nothing else. "Get Sharon" We called, and she
would be there in fifteen minutes (instead of two - I thought she was at
the birth center, not at home - guess she thought it might take longer
than it did)
| When Sharon arrived, I was soaking in the tub, still trying not to push. I hadn't been able to pee for about two hours - the baby's head was probably blocking the flow (this becomes important later) She said, if you want to push, give it a try. I gave a gentle push with the next contraction, and it felt so much better. I said so, and they laughed because they had seen how relieved I was. On examination, she found that we were ready to go - his head was just a few inches from the outside. Pushing was a relief, and I had sufficient endorphins that it really didn't hurt at all - just the stinging at crowning | . |
We went to the bed,
and started an hour and a half of pushing in various positions - hands
& knees, supported squat (until my feet went to sleep), reclining,
and finally, the toilet. The toilet was really a helpful position
- I recommend it, although it felt kinda funny at first to go sit on the
toilet. We got him crowning, and I walked back around the corner
to the bedroom- a bizarre stroll.
I felt his crinkled
little head a couple of times while pushing - when I first started
pushing, I could feel a soft pad of scalp, and the sutures of his skull
beneath that were starting to fold over each other. Whenever I pushed
and nothing seemed to happen, Sharon said I was molding his head, and it
helped me not to get discouraged. I felt it again when his head was
out - how strange to have your vagina around somebody's neck. It
was odd to feel something attached to me, but not me. (Come to think
of it, it must have been strange for my baby to not be attached anymore
once he was born- maybe that's why I could never put him down while sleeping)
| After his head was out, Sharon instructed me to wait until the next contraction, and then the shoulders would be born. The next contraction I pushed as hard as I could ( and probably got my first degree tear) but then, all of a sudden, there was this wet sucking sound, and he was out. She whipped the cord off his neck, he cried by himself, got the suction in his nose (I want to avoid this next time, if possible) and he was unceremoniously flopped onto my belly. "It's a little boy" choked Sammy. "Hello little Sammy" I said. He whimpered, and turned bright red. |  |
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"One more push" Sharon said. Huh? Oh, that. And the placenta came out right away. Then I started to bleed. Remember that full bladder? It was keeping my uterus from being able to contract down. I bled once, stopped, than started again "like a faucet". Sharon said she was sorry, and reached inside to look for a piece of placenta - it hurt, but not as bad as contractions I had had in the middle of the night. Though they said I made sounds like it was really bad. Thank goodness for those endorphins. She removed some clots, and manually emptied my bladder. After a shot of pit, it was all over. I drank about three pints in three minutes, but still needed an I.V. |
| That being over, we started nursing. Alex was a natural from the start - although his jaw chomped more than gently sucked at first. We called some family, cleaned up, and then it was time for stitches. Just four, but I had really wanted an intact perineum. This is still a goal for next time. Sam took his baby and slept with him on his chest in the room I had labored in. He had been looking forward to this for months! |  |
Alex at 15 months |
Alex has
been a mellow baby from the start. It is mostly because he is his
father's child - they were both mellow happy guys, but I also have
to think that his gentle start had something to do with his easy-going
nature. He had nothing to get over, no drugs, no separation, no circumcision.
He came out of my womb, and into our arms, where he has stayed ever since.
Our thanks to Jennifer Loomis for the wonderful photography. |
~ Shelley (Elianna)