Alexis

The birth of my first child was something I had long envisioned and, in reality, it was like nothing I could have comprehended.

My husband, a family physician trained traditionally, and I had vastly different ideas about Lexi's birth.  Our compromise was an "intervention free hospital birth."  I honestly didn't think it was probable, but with G-d's help possible.

And that spiritual emphasis became the mainstay of my pregnancy.  I learned all I could about pregnancy and birth...and drew up a "pregnancy plan" for the OB following my care.

In this plan I wrote a personal statement related to why I was seeing him and what I saw his role as in my pregnancy (that of an advisor, not the decision maker).  It certainly didn't win me any friends - and my husband was totally embarrassed, but I felt I had to assert my control from the onset - or else jeopardize the birth I wanted.

The staff and OB were very accommodating.  I refused most of their standard tests - did let them take the urine protein tests, and basic blood screens.  At around 36 weeks though my blood pressure shot up and things became tense.

I had been at work when I began to see strange plays of light, my ankles were noticeably swollen and I felt dizzy.  So I went in to have my BP checked...and was sent directly to the hospital by the CNM for "probable inducement".

At that point I felt totally helpless - so much for control!  But an awesome nurse there (after I shared my feelings) gave me some great tips on controlling my blood pressure - or at least manipulating it enough to save me from inducement....

I used those tips, along with meditation, during the rest of my pregnancy.  Each week I would go into the office, request a room to lie in and prayerfully meditated...then the nurse would come in with the ex-large cuff I requested and take my BP...it remained high but within the range that my desire to go into labor naturally was not challenged again.

In my birth plan I made it clear that I did not want to be induced...but at 42 weeks they said I had to make an appointment with the hospital...I did for 2 weeks later! (And then knowing I would not show up anyway!)

Two days later I woke up with strong, menstrual type cramps...mid-morning I woke up my husband.  My contractions were 10 minutes apart and I wanted him to get a shower in case "it" happened fast....silly me!

Those contractions stayed strong and regular all day...I cleaned house, took several long walks, planted some plants I had bought the day before and weeded the garden...still steady and strong...I showered, bathed, read....steady and strong...12 hours later the pace quickened a little, then a lot!

During this time I would not allow myself to lie down - each time I did the contractions stopped completely and then when I stood several hit in a row to "make up for" lost time!

Of course when we went to the hospital they made me lie down to examine me...I whipped out one of my 5 copies of my birth plan and handed to the nurse...asking him if he needed me to clarify anything - especially the part that said I could be in any position I wanted!

So he "set me free" of his technology and we were off walking the halls of the hospital...we most have covered every inch at least 3 times!

We stopped in a waiting room to catch on of the final episodes of Deep Space Nine when one of the L&D nurses found us (rats!)...

I was almost 8 cm dilated and fully effaced!

So into a L&D room we went!  I had a wonderful room with a rocker, squat bar, birthing ball - everything I had requested was there!  (Along with a lot of "back labor" paraphernalia that was never used - not one single back pain!)

This was well into the night and the nurses became anxious for my "bulging bags" to be broken...but I felt strongly that that was an intervention...and continued to refuse even though it took every ounce of will power I had to resist their claims of how it would "speed things up!"

I began praying for this labor to progress - I knew I could take intense pain for short duration but this steady, unrelenting mid level pain was really working on my psyche!  Suddenly I remembered someone talking about laboring on the toilet.  I got up and sat on the toilet - a few contraction later that tempting "bulging bag" was gone!  And no waters for the nurses to find meconium in either - flushed away!

After that we were moving along, I walked, rocked and hummed through the contractions...the humming was awesome, it was distracting and gave me a "rhythm".  But by far the most effective tool I used was visualization - something that just came naturally to me...through each contraction I could visualize my uterus opening up, and during BP checks I visualized walking along the beach holding my baby...

Each time I felt "stuck" I would go and sit on the toliet...something I did sparingly only because it made the contractions so intense I could only "make myself" stay there for 4-5 contractions...but during that time I could literally feel my body working, moving, preparing for those final moments....that position just was the perfect one for my body.

Finally I was ready to push...and of course you had to know in a hospital birth there would be some "bad"...I was ready to push and no one touched me...no perineal support or massages to help me...so you can imagine...

The pushing was awesome, feeling her strong squirming body come out of me was a sensation I will never forget.  It was the most incredible moment of my life...I felt powerful and more alive than I ever will again...

I tore everywhere...but was able to delay the stitches long enough to nurse her while her cord remained uncut...she immediately went on my bare chest and we had an incredible time together before they did anything more to either one of us....precious!  I couldn't believe this was my baby - she seemed huge laying there (8.15 lb., 22" long!)  - as she tried to latch on I knew...this is what I was created to do - i felt that part of my destiny was fulfilled with her birth and those first moments that made her a reality to me...

Was it an ideal birth - no...the lack of perineal support made my recover long and painful...I felt rushed pushing...and the lights they turned on without warning during delivery were maddening and mood defeating...(the room had been peaceful and darkened then bam, flood lights in my and baby's eyes!)  And all the unnecessary staff was distracting...

I immediately said to my husband (after we were FINALLY alone) I want to do this again - but not here!  He agreed...but is still feeling insecure about a home birth...I have a while to convince him...

I did find that my very detailed, very specific and very strongly worded birth plan was the key...and to have lots of copies with you...every time one of the "delivery team" members came by to introduce themselves I handed them a copy!

I had also made a "plan" for the "nursery/recovery" staff...and a little sign for the room door and her "plastic tub" (that she was in only when walking her to the room and to the car and only then because of "policies" I had no more energy to rail against!) alerting the staff that she was to receive nothing but Mama's milk.  They allowed her to stay with me at all times - we pulled out the sleeper sofa and family bedded from night one!

Was this an extraordinary hospital - no, not at all.  We broke many of their "rules" and one LD nurse told us that they only see 2 natural births at the most each month at this very busy hospital - and those are usually "accidents"!  The staff had never seen a "real" birth plan come up and were sometimes very cold and distant to us related to our "demands".  It can be done anywhere I think, but I firmly believe that whether with a midwife, or OB, the end of your pregnancy is to late to assert control.  It has to be from the first meeting...and then from then on without exception.

I was also truly blessed...I believe the G-d honored my heart's desire to make less than ideal circumstances still result in a wonderful birth experience...

    ~ Cathy Campbell